I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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