Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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