I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
