I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
