ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
