dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I can't turn off my feet"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
