farters have to be the big spoon...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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