what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
