he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
