We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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