i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
