Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
