I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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