The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
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