the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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