Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Randomize
