i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
