dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
