Soap is not a condiment
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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