i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
