i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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