ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just got carded by a ten year old.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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