Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You ate ashes out of my bong
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
