dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we're chasing vodka with high fives
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
A bitchslap is in order.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
