All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
