I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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