I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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