Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
