just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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