do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
