I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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