honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
