I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
