i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think I am morally bankrupt
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
