I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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