I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
