how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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