so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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