oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
