Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
