sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
