Can i not drive my cunt home
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
