I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
