oh god the rape fog is back!
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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