Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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