we're blogging at a bar
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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