he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
