I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
