I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
