Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Come share oat with me in your robe
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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